It has been one of those years in which, if I didn't have any photographs,…
Looking back exactly one year ago at Pictures of my 2012, I see that I was in an optimistic place.
(Feel free….by the way…. to skip this emotional screed and go straight down to the good stuff )
In reality, the past five years have been a struggle…or a series of struggles…as many of you are aware. 2012 seemed like a good, solid climb back to the normal and prosperous. I was even starting to open to the idea of opening some space to… just possibly, just maybe….allowing a woman back into my life. I had some pretty good plans for 2013 too as you can see from the 2012 post.
2013….The Bad and the Ugly…..
And….well…then reality set in. Some major CRAP came down the pike soon after I returned from an amazing trip in Panama – and it lasted all damned year, literally just coming to a conclusion yesterday. You can see that even for a writer like me it isn’t exactly easy to find a way to put this all into words. I have a tendency to downplay hard times. These are First-World struggles after all. Any hard times I may go through pales in comparison to the reality of what is happening in Syria, Mexico, South Sudan, Nigeria and North Korea just for a few examples. You know the story. There are people out there who are watching their kids die, who don’t have access to clean water, who can’t sleep at night for fear of bombs or secret police. I guess I have moments when I actually even feel bad for just feeling bad. Then there is the fact that I have this innate optimism that really gets in the way of my true feelings about certain moments and so I end up quashing down sorrow, frustration and upset and replacing it with … The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow….sometimes optimism is a gift and sometimes a curse.
I also have a tendency during rough times to just shut out the world. Close up my heart. That has happened to a certain extent this year too – but I really struggled against that….not always successfully. Especially allowing someone into my life….thats not easy and tends to be the first thing that gets cut. Not a good habit.
Anyway…all that said, I look through the photos below and find that despite the nightmare that hung over my head this year there were many, many moments of real, live damn good times. Panama was awesome. Ballooning was awesome. Tuscany was awesome. Costa Rica was awesome. They were healing moments in the year. Reminders of what its like to be happy. On top of that, the kids and I did lots of great hikes, train rides, camping trips and so on. We’re an active bunch and sometimes we have to force ourselves to stay home….and that can be good too! Both my kids are just freaking awesome, by the way. The light of my life and the source of HUGE love. HUGE light. HUGE power.
It was also a year of coming much closer to my parents, my brother and the incredible array of friends that I have in my life. I’ve also made some good strides towards my goal of being a professional writer and photographer. Especially the writing part. In 2014 I will work hard to sell more photos as well as keep advancing on the writing front. That and get back to some work on the bigger plans I have. I’ll announce some 2014 travel plans in February – as well as some of the longer term plans I will get back to now that I can.
What did I learn? Stay true to your integrity and to an honest life and lies will eventually fail. Also….Resiliency. I also learned not to go into to panic mode, to take a deep breath, assess the situation to then choose how to best act. I learned that my soul needs adventure to stay intact. Most importantly perhaps I learned that I can deal with some major crap and still come out on top.
So. 2013? Buh. Bye. 2014…I’m glad you’re here.
Now the good stuff………
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I wish us all an amazing 2014